For his part, Kitt was caught in a whirlwind of feelings, some emotional, some physical, all of them confusing, and all of them definitely worth more exploration. He was overwhelmed, and yet... he liked it. Who knew it could be like this? It really was no wonder that humans sought these experiences, as they were both exhilarating and darkly seductive. The term 'forbidden fruit' sprang to mind, but no, that wasn't right. This wasn't so much forbidden as... frightening. Frightening fruit? But frightening in an exciting way, like outrunning the police on a stretch of deserted highway. Yes. That was a metaphor he could understand. Outrunning the police, but on the way towards home, because didn't it feel that way when he was with Ruri? As though he had found home? A new home, that they had created together. Unlike her, Kitt embraced hope and warmth and the trust to be found in family. He'd never been alone, not until his arrival here - but even then, he'd soon found Ruri again, and she'd made everything safe again. Home.
But now he was risking everything. Was that wise? What if this wasn't what she wanted from him? Did he even know what he wanted? His body seemed to, certainly. She wanted to kiss him, but that didn't necessarily mean she wanted more - or did it? Michael had been kissed on numerous occasions by numerous women, but he hadn't taken it farther with every single one of them. How did he know which ones wanted more?
His head was spinning, trying to make sense of it all. First things first: yes. He wanted more. The kisses had only confirmed that. Reflecting back, it surprised him just how often his thoughts had turned to Ruri, whether they were together but in different areas of the apartment, or whether they were miles apart at their jobs. Thinking about her had become almost a distraction - why had he not noticed that before? It had simply become a natural part of his daily existence. But even if he wanted more, did she? And if she did, were they really ready for this? Was a kiss just a kiss, in this instance? And yet he couldn't stop thinking about her, the undercurrent still there even now. The thought of their bodies moving together, the soft warmth of her lips against his, the feel of her hands on him...
She was speaking, saying his name. How many times had she said it? He was still standing there frozen, his hands raised in an almost comical parody of being arrested. She had arrested him, of that there was no doubt. His eyes had been cast down as he tried to get his breathing under control, to cage the animal that was his heart. Now as he slowly looked up at her, his eyes were still slightly wild, a glaze over them of incomprehension. He was trying to make sense of her words, he just needed a few seconds more as he willed the painful aching in his groin to stop.
"I'm sorry." It was more a whisper than words. Did he want to stop?
No. No. No, he did not. But careful, so careful, he had to be careful.
Even now, there was still that tone in her voice. Home. He shook his head once, slowly, then looked up at her again. "No." But he also knew his wasn't the only decision to be made. "Do you?"
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ninetydegrees
no subject
2018-01-10 03:01 (UTC)But now he was risking everything. Was that wise? What if this wasn't what she wanted from him? Did he even know what he wanted? His body seemed to, certainly. She wanted to kiss him, but that didn't necessarily mean she wanted more - or did it? Michael had been kissed on numerous occasions by numerous women, but he hadn't taken it farther with every single one of them. How did he know which ones wanted more?
His head was spinning, trying to make sense of it all. First things first: yes. He wanted more. The kisses had only confirmed that. Reflecting back, it surprised him just how often his thoughts had turned to Ruri, whether they were together but in different areas of the apartment, or whether they were miles apart at their jobs. Thinking about her had become almost a distraction - why had he not noticed that before? It had simply become a natural part of his daily existence. But even if he wanted more, did she? And if she did, were they really ready for this? Was a kiss just a kiss, in this instance? And yet he couldn't stop thinking about her, the undercurrent still there even now. The thought of their bodies moving together, the soft warmth of her lips against his, the feel of her hands on him...
She was speaking, saying his name. How many times had she said it? He was still standing there frozen, his hands raised in an almost comical parody of being arrested. She had arrested him, of that there was no doubt. His eyes had been cast down as he tried to get his breathing under control, to cage the animal that was his heart. Now as he slowly looked up at her, his eyes were still slightly wild, a glaze over them of incomprehension. He was trying to make sense of her words, he just needed a few seconds more as he willed the painful aching in his groin to stop.
"I'm sorry." It was more a whisper than words. Did he want to stop?
No. No. No, he did not. But careful, so careful, he had to be careful.
Even now, there was still that tone in her voice. Home. He shook his head once, slowly, then looked up at her again. "No." But he also knew his wasn't the only decision to be made. "Do you?"
Trust. Safety. Fear, comfort. Reassurance. Home.