Kitt wasn't even sure if he could die. What a pair they made - a dead woman, and an artificial construct who could possibly be immortal. And yet, Forever was still a long time. Right now, he couldn't imagine spending any of it without her with him.
Hot and cold and both simultaneously. He felt dizzy, yet a clarity had settled over his mind. Flushed, but shivering. Aching, but wary. How did humans ever manage to reproduce? He was having difficulty enough just trying to still his mind and sort through these feelings. Or maybe humans simply threw caution to the wind and acted without thinking? It would explain many things, especially about his driver's behavior. No wonder he was always on the outs with Bonnie. And all of this was distracting him from what he wanted to think about, but if he thought about her then all of his resolve would flee again. Humans! Ugh!
She closed the distance, one step, enough to bring his attention back into focus. Not necessarily a good thing, as it made his heart start doing slow, sickly flips within his chest. Let's not stop, she was saying, and his ears were burning with the implications. It was what he'd wanted, what he'd imagined in his own bed several floors away from her. And now? He was standing his ground, at least. That was a start. Had he been seeking sexual activity? No, not actively. But his view of sex was somewhat skewed, having watched the behavior of one Michael Knight towards women for over four years. Sex was easy, sex was casual, sex happened with people you barely knew and were easily left behind and forgotten. He'd always assumed that his first experience with sex would be along those lines as well, a casual attraction that led to a hookup. It wasn't supposed to be serious, all-consuming, terrifying. What if he messed up? What if Ruri didn't like what he was doing? What if she left, unsatisfied and angry? What if he embarrassed himself? It wouldn't matter if he never saw her again, but with Ruri? It was everything. He needed to be good for her, to take care of her. How could he do that if he had no experience?
And then... what? She hadn't done this either? What?
"No, no, wait, Ruri, no. This isn't - you've never done this before? How is that possible? Isn't this something that humans are supposed to be hardwired for? You start to explore as teens and..." He trailed off, unsure of how to explain his understanding of teenage hormones to her. "Ruri, I've studied my driver. I've read the books trying to get a better understanding of him, and human sexuality. You're... Ruri, it will hurt you. The first time for women, it's painful. Unless you're with someone who knows what they're doing, who can take the time and be careful, and even then it will still hurt. Ruri, I can't be the first. I'm clumsy and nervous and unsure about all of this. I'll hurt you more than I should and I can't do that to you. I care for you far too much. I don't ever want to do anything that will hurt you." The good news was, this conversation had become an effective cockblock.
Moving towards her to close more of the gap, he wrapped his hands around her upper arms, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead, and a whisper into her ear. They could be the main characters in their own story, but after. When she wouldn't be hurt by him. "I don't want anyone but you either. There has been no one else who's made me feel this way, who has made me want these things. Every time I leave it's like I've lost a piece of my heart, and every time I see you I'm whole again. And I can't hurt you like that. I won't." She needed to go to a bar, a party, anywhere. Be a normal human. Find an experienced lover. Then come back to him, and teach him what she'd learned about what she liked. He would be waiting.
With his hands still on her arms, and maintaining a very deliberate space between them, he sought her lips once more, relieved to find that they were still so warm, so full, so soft.
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Hot and cold and both simultaneously. He felt dizzy, yet a clarity had settled over his mind. Flushed, but shivering. Aching, but wary. How did humans ever manage to reproduce? He was having difficulty enough just trying to still his mind and sort through these feelings. Or maybe humans simply threw caution to the wind and acted without thinking? It would explain many things, especially about his driver's behavior. No wonder he was always on the outs with Bonnie. And all of this was distracting him from what he wanted to think about, but if he thought about her then all of his resolve would flee again. Humans! Ugh!
She closed the distance, one step, enough to bring his attention back into focus. Not necessarily a good thing, as it made his heart start doing slow, sickly flips within his chest. Let's not stop, she was saying, and his ears were burning with the implications. It was what he'd wanted, what he'd imagined in his own bed several floors away from her. And now? He was standing his ground, at least. That was a start. Had he been seeking sexual activity? No, not actively. But his view of sex was somewhat skewed, having watched the behavior of one Michael Knight towards women for over four years. Sex was easy, sex was casual, sex happened with people you barely knew and were easily left behind and forgotten. He'd always assumed that his first experience with sex would be along those lines as well, a casual attraction that led to a hookup. It wasn't supposed to be serious, all-consuming, terrifying. What if he messed up? What if Ruri didn't like what he was doing? What if she left, unsatisfied and angry? What if he embarrassed himself? It wouldn't matter if he never saw her again, but with Ruri? It was everything. He needed to be good for her, to take care of her. How could he do that if he had no experience?
And then... what? She hadn't done this either? What?
"No, no, wait, Ruri, no. This isn't - you've never done this before? How is that possible? Isn't this something that humans are supposed to be hardwired for? You start to explore as teens and..." He trailed off, unsure of how to explain his understanding of teenage hormones to her. "Ruri, I've studied my driver. I've read the books trying to get a better understanding of him, and human sexuality. You're... Ruri, it will hurt you. The first time for women, it's painful. Unless you're with someone who knows what they're doing, who can take the time and be careful, and even then it will still hurt. Ruri, I can't be the first. I'm clumsy and nervous and unsure about all of this. I'll hurt you more than I should and I can't do that to you. I care for you far too much. I don't ever want to do anything that will hurt you." The good news was, this conversation had become an effective cockblock.
Moving towards her to close more of the gap, he wrapped his hands around her upper arms, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead, and a whisper into her ear. They could be the main characters in their own story, but after. When she wouldn't be hurt by him. "I don't want anyone but you either. There has been no one else who's made me feel this way, who has made me want these things. Every time I leave it's like I've lost a piece of my heart, and every time I see you I'm whole again. And I can't hurt you like that. I won't." She needed to go to a bar, a party, anywhere. Be a normal human. Find an experienced lover. Then come back to him, and teach him what she'd learned about what she liked. He would be waiting.
With his hands still on her arms, and maintaining a very deliberate space between them, he sought her lips once more, relieved to find that they were still so warm, so full, so soft.