pyroknight | Dancing Meme

Dancing Meme

Did you ask your partner or did they ask you? Have you got two left fee or is the Viennese Waltz your jam? Maybe it’s awkward or it could be romantic or both? Either way it’s cute as hell and a time you won’t soon forget.

1. Post your character and the character you want to interact with in the subject line.
2. Use RNG and enter 1-9 to pick a scenario.
3. Try not to step on each others feet!
4. Rinse & Repeat

scenario

1. Club House. You're in your secret place: near a stream in the woods, your club house, the secret garden, an abandoned building. The place where you two always met or the place that you just decided to meet or maybe you guys just came across each other? It's time to throw caution to the wind and dance.

2. Glamorous Gala. Beautiful party with bright lights and dazzling ball gowns. Maybe you were invited or you snuck in, perhaps it’s a masquerade and you're able to parade around as someone else. You’re here, might as well enjoy yourself. You can dance in the grand ballroom or maybe out on the patio or into the garden were you are alone and uninterrupted.

3. Beneath the Moon. It's night, perhaps just after a fancy dinner or as you find yourself on a stroll through the park. What better way to complete the night than with a slow dance? Maybe you want to bathe in the moons light and you begin dancing without a care in the world. Everyone’s asleep, no one will see you.

4. Home. Who needs a fancy place to dance? Just push the coffee table out of the way and play the music. It could be fast or slow or just learning how and wanting to stay out of sight. It doesn’t matter what’s around you.

5. Inappropriately. You’re at the grocery store, the library and you hear a song you just want to dance to. Surly someone will join you or maybe you’ll get funny looks until you pull them to dance will you. You only live once, might as well enough it?

6. Club. It's hard to hear and you might have been drinking or maybe you just arrived and you got stuck in the middle of the dance floor? If you can’t talk you might as well dance.

7. Silence. Who needs music to dance? The Rhythm is all in your head or perhaps you and your partner are softly humming a tune to step too? It’s a secret, shared between you and them. With your hands held lightly together.

8. Once upon a Dream. Caught singing and dancing in the woods and you just decided to go with it? Disney would be proud. It can happen anywhere and just maybe you are in a dream together and you’re dancing with only clouds to hold you up.

9. In the Rain/Snow. There is no reason to stop because of weather. You can keep dancing and having fun. Everyone else runs for cover but its moments like these when you really live.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I-" Ruri's voice caught in her throat.

How was that possible?

It was a difficult question. She would have to tell him everything and she was terrified that he'd leave if he knew the truth about her. She wasn't normal, she wasn't human or a car. She was dead or half alive. Her form looked like she thought it would when she reached her twenties but it's borrowed. Everything about her life was borrowed.

She didn't want it to be borrowed anymore. She wanted to live the stories that she wrote about.

Ruri swallowed her fears and took a step towards Kitt. She heard what he was saying but he was wrong. Everything he was saying was wrong. She wanted to contradict him but Ruri found it too difficult to speak. Instead she moved: she rose to the tip of her toes, placed one hand on his and the other on his shoulder, looked into his eyes and kissed him. It was a brief kiss, warm and light. Gone only a second after she'd felt the warmth of his lips. Her eyes rose to meet his, hovering an inch or so away from him. "You aren't taking advantage of me."

She exhaled, feeling her fingers tremble. "I wanted to kiss you too. For a long time. This was special to me, the best first kiss someone could ask for." Ruri was terrified but she pushed herself to continue. "If anyone is being selfish it's me." Her eyes dropped as she whispered his name. "Kitt. I'm not even alive." Her hands slowly released him as she pulled away. Ruri expected questions and then she expected him to leave and she wasn't going to stop him.

He was looking down at her, concern that was bordering on worry filling his eyes. He'd ruined everything. He should have just stuck to the dancing, because now everything was a disaster. He wasn't designed for something like this, and he had no right to desire it - or her. And now she wasn't talking, she'd just gone silent, and the worry spilled over until...

She kissed him. She'd looked right at him, right into his eyes, and she kissed him. Brief, oh so brief, but with a sweetness that caught his breath in his throat as his eyes followed her, every movement, every moment, her words transforming his worry into astonishment. His voice, at first barely above a whisper, broke as his first questions were asked. "You did? It was? But why... Why didn't you tell me?" It wasn't wasted time, the months they'd spent getting to know one another, but could it have been so much more? But she was still speaking, and now he tilted his head to one side, confusion clouding once more into worry.

"Selfish? No, never. Never Ruri..." He was talking over her, but her words managed to cut through the fog of his befuddlement, his name in particular catching his attention.

"I... I don't understand. How can you not be alive? Of course you're alive. My scanners - they would have indicated something as major as that! What are you talking about, not alive?" No. She could try to pull away, but he reached out to drag her gently back to him. "Talk to me. Tell me what you mean by that." He wasn't letting her go, not now, not when he knew she felt the same way about him that he did about her.

"I didn't want you to leave." It was the answer to his first question though it now felt out of place in the conversation. Too much had been said... more than Ruri could ever take back.

How could she have told him when she'd never felt this way before? She didn't even know what was happening until she felt the startling painful stab of jealousy. How could she had told him when she couldn't offer him a future? She was being selfish. He just didn't see it yet. She had to explain. She owed him that much.

Ruri bit her lower lip as she gently stepped back towards Kitt. She didn't want to pull away from him. His arms were warm and, even if it was only for a moment, she was happy. Her eyes closed and she inhaled the familiar scent that clung to Kitt's skin.

"I'm not alive." She repeated in a soft voice. "I died. In middle school. That's why I have never done so many things and why I didn't have many friends when we first met. I never tried to make friends before... before I met you." Ruri kept her eyes closed, her thin frame leaning against Kitt as she continued. "I told you once. That I could see spirits. It's a family trait but there is more to it than that. My family goes back to Cain and Able. When we die, we are able to return but as a death god. I ferry souls of those who don't want to die. I didn't know about it until after I had died. My mother did something. I couldn't ask her because when I woke up she vanished. It's been six years and I haven't aged a day."

It wasn't the whole story but Ruri had to stop and breathe. She was terrified and trembling in Kitt's arms.

He would have regretted knowing he did anything to cause her to be jealous, but he couldn't imagine why on Earth she would have felt that way to begin with. Had anyone ever felt jealous for his attentions? It didn't matter anyway; he already knew that whatever she might say now, leaving was out of the question, not now, not with the way he felt about her. He was only just beginning to understand what these feelings were, to make sense of the vague and unformed (or perhaps simply unanalyzed?) longings he had been experiencing. In the quiet times that he spent processing the day's events, he'd always shunted aside those thoughts he associated with Ruri, storing them away to be analyzed another day - a day that secretly wished would never come, afraid to face his feelings and what he felt would be her inevitable rejection. But now - well, he'd gone and opened the Pandora's Box, hadn't he? The AI part of him was shaking its head at the stupid human part, he knew.

He let her speak, listening intently, but his confusion only continued to grow.

He could feel her shaking when she finished, but he didn't let her go, he only continued to hold her, pressing her close up against him while he turned her words over in his mind, unsure of where to start with what she had told him. He finally decided to start at the beginning and work his way from there.

"How did you die?" He was resting his cheek against her temple, his eyes closed, breathing in her scent, glad that she had chosen to take the leap towards friendship with him - though he still wasn't sure why she'd made that decision. "And you still do that now, ferry the souls of the dead? Are you a spirit yourself, then? As a death god?" And her mother - what had happened to her mother? Had she made some sort of bargain, Ruri's life for hers?

It was hard to believe that any of this was happening. Ruri inhaled a slow, deep breath tasting Kitt's scent on her tongue. Had he always smelt like this? Felt this warm? The questions buzzed through her head as she leaned against him, her eyes closed and her voice silent as he processed her confession.

Ruri hadn't ever told anyone what she was or what had happened before. It wasn't that she didn't know how, stories were her passion, but who could she tell? Who would believe her? Right now, the answer to both of those questions was Kitt. He wasn't doubting her. He was concerned, she could feel the tension brought by worry in the way that he held her, but he was also patient; politely listening to her story.

"I do. If I ignore an assignment then someone will come for my soul." She spoke softly, her eyes closed. "I am but somehow I had a body created for me. I don't know how... I had no one to ask." She hadn't been able to find her mother but she stayed in that house, hoping that her mother would one day return home.

"I told you-" She began. "That I could always see spirits and they gave me and my friends these abilities. Well, it did more than just give us something. It made us targets for darker spirits. One of us, Kristen, had been taken over by one of those dark spirits. It was killing her in hopes to keep her body. I was the only one who could see it." Of their friend group, she was the only one who could see spirits. "So I used what my mother had taught me and traded my soul for Kristen's. The evil spirit pulled me with it and my soul left my body. When I woke up... years had passed."

For his own part, Kitt's head was swimming at the bombardment of sensations as he held her close; when was the last time he'd had such sustained contact with a human? It had also been Ruri, yes? On the couch, watching a movie - but even that hadn't affected him like this. They weren't just friends anymore, of that he was certain - but what were they now? Why was her scent so alluring, her breathing so soothing, her warmth so comfortable?

Of course he was concerned; his feelings for her had only continued to grow the more time he spent with her. And by now, he had become so accustomed to the idea of magic and the paranormal, it had become as familiar as going to the car wash. Her story concerned him, but only because he was worried for her. If there was anything he could do to help, he wanted to be there for her.

"Have you helped to ferry anyone here, since you've been in Hawaii?" He pulled back, holding her by her biceps, searching her eyes with his. "What do you mean, someone will come for you soul?" He didn't like the sound of that, not one bit. If anyone tried to harm her, they'd have to go through him first now, he'd make sure of that. "Is this... was this your appearance before all of this happened, or do you look different now in this new body?" This was something he could at least understand, being caught in a semi-similar situation.

He pulled her in close again, because now that he was holding her he could hardly bear any distance.

His own voice turned dark, thick with his own bitter memories of a night several months past. "I've had some run-ins of my own with less than savory spirits." He held up his left hand, the bracelet tight around his wrist. He was convinced that the bracelet had been planted for them to find, in order to eliminate the threat he posed. It had worked that way, for a time. "Like a demonic possession, you mean? But..." He looked at her sharply, confusion now warring with the concern already on his face. "Do you have a soul? Or do you share it with the demon? Or did it finally let you go?"

Her head was spinning and her heart pounding frantically in her chest. Ruri couldn't find it in herself to calm down. She was waiting for that moment when Kitt walked away and it felt like every second drew out that inevitable end.

He pulled away, holding her by her biceps and Ruri's breath caught in her throat. She met his gaze with hope and fear mingling in her light brown eyes. "I haven't. Not since I met you. I can see things here. I saw your bracelet when I first met you and thought you were one of those demons. Only after you explained did I realize it was something else. But- I haven't taken a soul. I don't know where I'd take it." She licked her lips before continuing. "I have a soul and if I had aged, this is what I would have probably looked like. I don't... have pictures of me as a child here but the body is technically new. Only six years old. And." Each one of his questions repeated in a round inside her head. "Someone, like me, will come for me if I stop ferrying souls. They will make me go back with them and I'd be dead."

She thought he was going to pull away from her when Kitt pulled her towards his chest. Ruri closed her eyes but resisted the urge to wrap her arms around his waist. She wasn't sure she could move without Kitt's help.

"The demon let me go. I forced it too. When I was brought back.. I'm just me but I won't age I don't know if I can have a life. Everything I am is borrowed." Ruri felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes. "I really like you. I want to kiss you but I can't do that to you. You deserve someone with a future."

Walking away was something he hadn't even considered. If only he'd known she was worrying about something so silly as that!

"So whatever did this to you - it can't find you here?" The relief in his voice was obvious, but he knew it was too early to be assuming things. But they'd met before they'd ended up here, so... was it something to do with the bracelet. It was old; Sumerian, so far as he could tell, and in his brief research into the subject he knew that their magic was dark and powerful. But he shook his head at the strangeness of it all. Taking her away, replacing her body with a replica that couldn't age... It was almost as though she was a sort of android, and the thought brought an involuntary smile to his lips. "I suppose you'll have to keep ferrying souls then, won't you? We all have jobs to do, this is no different. Well, a little different. But are you able to speak with the souls? To comfort them on their journey? I can't think of anyone else I would want to ferry me across, Ruri." It gave him momentary pause, wondering if his soul was too different from that of an ordinary human. Would he have a reaper such as Ruri come to take him?

"Impressive that you're stronger than a demon. That shows a remarkable strength of will, don't you think?" He shook his head again as he looked at her, this time with a sad sort of amusement in his eyes. "Do you really think this body I'm in right now belongs to me?" He wouldn't let her answer him, because instead he leaned in to catch her lips in another kiss, slow, soft, tender. Maybe she wouldn't do it to him, but he could surely make that decision for himself, couldn't he?

"I don't know." She didn't want to give him false hope, to tell him that they couldn't reach her here, but she didn't know for sure. Ruri had considered that, while she was here, she was free but she didn't want to let her guard down. It's never been this long in between jobs. "I do. I try to comfort them. To tell them that it's okay and that there are people waiting for them. Some jobs are harder than others." Ruri always had issues ferrying the souls of children but she did what had to be done.

"I don't think I am stronger." Maybe more stubborn than a demon.

Ruri closed her eyes and shifted to rest her face against Kitt's chest. Her hands finally rose, gently pressing against his torso; not pushing him away or pulling him closer. She inhaled and decided that she really liked the way that Kitt smelled. Her head lifted at his last question, a word and a half escaping her lips before she felt his kiss. "I do-"

Her body stiffened and then relaxed against him, her fingers curling slightly as if to cling to his chest. Heat touch her lips and then swelled and pulsed through her thin frame. It was a pleasant sensation and she felt herself falling happily into that alluring warmth.

Ruri's body was pressed flush against his as she met the force of his kiss. If it was possible, she would never want to pull away. Her lips parted and she inhaled as her tongue brushed against his lips, seeking to clumsily deepen their kiss. She didn't know if it would be their last kiss or another in a long string of kisses but she wanted it to last, to fall into this moment, as if there was nothing in the world except for them and the music that brought them together.

"I think if someone like you showed up to comfort me in my final moments, to help guide me to the other side, I would have no fear. You are a very comforting presence, Ruri." He frowned for a moment; did an artificial being such as himself possess a soul? Could he be ferried across, or would he simply cease to exist? "Is there any way that I can help you, if the need arises?" He didn't want her to bear that burden alone, not if he could do something.

"I think you are." He stopped himself before he could stick his tongue out at her like a childish twelve-year-old.

But now, he was already lost in the embrace of that kiss, parting his lips so that her tongue could find his, returning the kiss back onto her with a desire unlike anything he'd felt before. She wasn't warm, she was hot, the heat between searing with passion. He'd spent long hours chiding Michael on his skirt-chasing ways, but now he realized he'd never understood in the slightest the feelings and sensations brought on by close physical contact with another human. And quite by accident, completely out of his control, his body was indeed reacting to her nearness, the tightening of his boxers as he grew hard. He hated himself for it, for spoiling this perfect, innocent moment, so he ignored it, ignored its demands, instead focusing his attention on kissing Ruri, delighting in the slick smoothness of her tongue as it brushed against his, the feeling of his fingers digging into her sides to hold her there and never let her go. The music had fallen away, replaced by the blood that pumped in his ears, the soft sucking sounds as they pulled away to breathe, only to dive back in to the kiss.

Now he understood.

Ruri didn't know what to say. She had never considered that he'd accept her and her situation. Now he was holding her and kissing her...

A soft sigh was muted by their kissed as she let the pleasant feeling of it cloud her thoughts. It was warm and his lips were soft and perfect. Ruri didn't know what she was doing but she felt the heat of his touch spread through her, reaching out through her limbs. She didn't want the kiss to end. She pulled herself closer to him as their kiss deepened. It was a little clumsy, a little unsure but passionate and eager as her breath mingled with his.

Ruri inhaled a sharp breath as they paused and then continued with their kiss. With each passing section her touch became more eager, more confident. She wanted this; his kiss and his acceptance. She'd never thought that she'd have something like this.

"Kitt." She whispered his name against his lips as her hands moved up his arms and wrapped around his neck. Ruri felt all of her worry and fears slowly ebb away while wrapped within his arms.

She had accepted him without hesitation, without letting any fear or biases get in the way of her friendship with the person that she had come to know. Why would he be any different? And yes, he wouldn't say that he didn't have some fears, and still some questions, but they were mostly for her, or his own abilities to keep safe this woman he had grown to...

To. That was the biggest fear of all, wasn't it? He wasn't prepared to put a name to whatever it was he was feeling for her, lest it be the wrong one, or it turned into a definition he wasn't completely sure of. All that he knew at the moment was that he was exactly where he wanted to be, doing what he wanted to be doing, with the person he wanted to do it with.

Well, mostly. His body was still doing its best to try to turn something innocent and good into something X-rated and messy. He allowed himself to indulge in the feeling of her lips against his, the small shivers that trembled through them, her breath on his skin raising gooseflesh in a singularly pleasant way. He came up for air occasionally, but it was always for a brief moment, eager to resume the contact of their lips, the searching of their tongues. With her hands around his neck, there was no longer any distance between them, and as his body responded to hers his kisses became more passionate, more hungry, more feral, small growls of possession in the back of his throat as his hands began to roam seemingly of their own accord, the sound of his name said that way - ye gods, he'd never heard his name spoken in quite that way before - sending intoxicating chills racing up his spine.

He needed to end this, before it turned into something they weren't ready for, either of them. There was no way she could possibly be unaware of his arousal, his overwhelming desire that was beginning to cloud his thinking. No. With one last, breathless kiss, he pulled away reluctantly, lifting his hands away from her and backing up helplessly, more than a little embarrassed he'd let it get this far at all.

Her face was flushed, her lips swollen and inviting from the kisses, his eyes drawn to them as he licked his own lips and swallowed hard, still tasting her on them. Was this right? His breathing was ragged now, all of his decision-making skills failing him utterly as he stood there dumbly - or was he numb? Someone needed to make a decision, clearly, but he was frozen with doubt and self-recrimination as he stared at her.

Worries, fears, heartache: Ruri felt them slip away like a dream. Those feelings were replaced by something warmer, something less tangible, but more real than anything she's felt before. A part of it was desire, infatuation and lust. She knew those emotions even if she rarely experienced them herself. Another part of it was comfort, safety and trust. It felt strange to trust so complacently, to allow herself hope and warmth when she'd spent so much time trying to shy away from those things.

It felt like such a long time ago. Why had she continued to talk to him? A friend had invited him into her home and she had texted him because he'd left an amusing image on her wall but why did she ask him out after that? Why did she constantly come back to him, wanting to be near him? What was it that drew her in?

She didn't have an answer for any of her questions but she knew, in her heart, that she felt something for Kitt. They were feelings that she had never experienced with anyone else. Ruri could lose herself in the heat of his kiss, the press of his body against hers, the feeling of --- he pulled away and she felt a bright red flush climb to her cheeks. She'd been feeling his reaction to their kiss and while Ruri felt a similar desire, something that wasn't completely wholesome, her body didn't show it in the same way.

She was breathing heavily, her fingers rising to her lips as if to make sure that this wasn't a dream. "Kitt." Her voice was soft but musical as the emotions from their kiss seeped warmth, comfort and desire into her tone. "Are you alright?"

Ruri paused, biting her lower lip. "Do you want to stop?" She knew the reason why he'd want to stop now but what if she didn't want to stop? How easy would it be to be swept up by her feelings?

For his part, Kitt was caught in a whirlwind of feelings, some emotional, some physical, all of them confusing, and all of them definitely worth more exploration. He was overwhelmed, and yet... he liked it. Who knew it could be like this? It really was no wonder that humans sought these experiences, as they were both exhilarating and darkly seductive. The term 'forbidden fruit' sprang to mind, but no, that wasn't right. This wasn't so much forbidden as... frightening. Frightening fruit? But frightening in an exciting way, like outrunning the police on a stretch of deserted highway. Yes. That was a metaphor he could understand. Outrunning the police, but on the way towards home, because didn't it feel that way when he was with Ruri? As though he had found home? A new home, that they had created together. Unlike her, Kitt embraced hope and warmth and the trust to be found in family. He'd never been alone, not until his arrival here - but even then, he'd soon found Ruri again, and she'd made everything safe again. Home.

But now he was risking everything. Was that wise? What if this wasn't what she wanted from him? Did he even know what he wanted? His body seemed to, certainly. She wanted to kiss him, but that didn't necessarily mean she wanted more - or did it? Michael had been kissed on numerous occasions by numerous women, but he hadn't taken it farther with every single one of them. How did he know which ones wanted more?

His head was spinning, trying to make sense of it all. First things first: yes. He wanted more. The kisses had only confirmed that. Reflecting back, it surprised him just how often his thoughts had turned to Ruri, whether they were together but in different areas of the apartment, or whether they were miles apart at their jobs. Thinking about her had become almost a distraction - why had he not noticed that before? It had simply become a natural part of his daily existence. But even if he wanted more, did she? And if she did, were they really ready for this? Was a kiss just a kiss, in this instance? And yet he couldn't stop thinking about her, the undercurrent still there even now. The thought of their bodies moving together, the soft warmth of her lips against his, the feel of her hands on him...

She was speaking, saying his name. How many times had she said it? He was still standing there frozen, his hands raised in an almost comical parody of being arrested. She had arrested him, of that there was no doubt. His eyes had been cast down as he tried to get his breathing under control, to cage the animal that was his heart. Now as he slowly looked up at her, his eyes were still slightly wild, a glaze over them of incomprehension. He was trying to make sense of her words, he just needed a few seconds more as he willed the painful aching in his groin to stop.

"I'm sorry." It was more a whisper than words. Did he want to stop?

No. No. No, he did not. But careful, so careful, he had to be careful.

Even now, there was still that tone in her voice. Home. He shook his head once, slowly, then looked up at her again. "No." But he also knew his wasn't the only decision to be made. "Do you?"

Trust. Safety. Fear, comfort. Reassurance. Home.

"Please don't be sorry for kissing me." Her voice was soft, begging.

Ruri watched him, yearning to close the distance between them. She had lived her whole life without this kind of warmth and she didn't want to anymore. She didn't think she could live without it and it couldn't be with just anyone. It had to be Kitt. There was no one else who made her feel like this.

She stepped forward and closed part of the distance between them before pausing.

"I don't want to stop." Ruri's eyes were on the ground as she spoke, her voice steady. She had to focus on breathing as she rose her gaze to meet his. "I- I can't explain how I feel but I want to be with you Kitt. For-" She swallowed feeling the bubble of uncertainty rise in her chest. "For as long as you'll have me."

What exactly was she asking him? Ruri's head spun as she considered the implications of her own phrasing. She wasn't sure what she meant her the true depth to what she felt but she knew that those were the words that she wanted to say. It didn't have to make sense to know that it was what she wanted. Something in her heart told her and whatever else happened, she wanted to listen to that voice.

He was shaking his head, mostly unaware of the action, denying her words as she spoke them. "It's not that." He looked up at her briefly, then his eyes dropped back to the floor. How he could ever be sorry for that? It was a singular moment in his life, one he would never forget and never, ever regret. His first kiss, and it was beautiful.

No, that wasn't the problem at all. The problem was that he'd spent too much time before then thinking about her, wondering what she thought of him, and little by little without his realization or even his permission, his feelings for her had grown beyond friendship, transformed into something more. He wasn't ready to put a label on them, not yet. And really, what was he even doing? He wasn't human. His human body was an affectation at best, and certainly not who he really was. He was artificial, with emotions that were as synthetic as the mind who possessed them. He'd never spent any significant amount of time considering human females, other than as a mental exercise, trying to figure out what drew Michael to them like a moth to a flame. He'd simply never been interested. So why was he now? What had changed? Just because he now had possession of a fake human body? Was it really affecting his patterns of thinking so much that even the AI was being modified? Ruri. What on Earth was she doing to him? This was crazy. It wasn't right. Couldn't possibly be right.

Was it right?

The kiss had far exceeded anything he could have imagined - and since when was he imagining kissing anyone? No, not just anyone. Ruri. And more often than he cared to admit. But now that he had, he wanted more. What right did he have? Well, the good thing at least was that all of this thinking and uncertainty seemed to have cooled his ardor somewhat. He was still half-hard, but no longer aching. So long as he made sure not to touch her again, he should be okay. A cold shower and some time alone, yes. And dear gods, he needed to not remember what it had felt like to hold her. To kiss her. To... she was coming closer to him. His hands were still in the air, and he was determined to keep them there so he couldn't do anything stupid with them, like holding her. He watched her warily as she approached, feeling like a cornered animal.

Wait, what? What was she saying? Her words were breaking through his defenses, to the point where he could practically hear them crumbling around him.

"... You don't want to stop." He cocked his head to the side, still eyeing her. Had he stopped breathing? "I. I want to be with you too, Ruri." For such a long time now. Had he passed out? Was he dreaming this? He did feel lightheaded... For as long as he'd have her? What did that mean? Did she really think he might not want her? That he'd discard her like some old shoes? "Ruri, what does that even mean, 'for as long as I'll have you'? You don't just throw people away, especially if you lo-" His breath caught in his throat. "Care for them."

He finally lowered his hands, but his body was still tense, still battling that fight or flight instinct that he had no rights to in the first place. He licked his lips, his head half-turned, because it was easier to look at her if half his face was shielded, hidden from her gaze.

"I want to be with you." He let out a breath, feeling as though his last had been hours ago. He was making an admission of his own, and it felt momentous, overwhelming. "For as long as you'll have me." Now he turned back to watch her, because he needed to see her face, to see her eyes. Hiding was all well and good, but it also made it difficult to see who he was hiding from.

"And I. I don't want to stop, either." He could have now, as he was physically feeling back in control of himself. But that didn't mean he wanted to leave it that way, because as scary as it had been, it had also been exciting, giving in to that reckless abandon for the too-brief moments of their kiss. "Ruri, I've never done this before. I've never." He dropped his eyes again, but with an effort made himself look at her once more. "Never been like this with anyone before." He was back to holding his breath, wondering what she might think of him now.

"Forever." Ruri spoke before she could stop herself. Forever meant something different to her than it did to others. She had already experienced an end. She had already died and come back. Forever was pass life and death. Even if he were to turn back into a car and she could never kiss him again, she'd want to remain at his side.

Forever was a long time

Her heart ached in her chest, reaching out to Kitt as he looked away from her. It hurt to see the conflict in his demeanor. "I want to be with you." She repeated softly. "Forever."

Ruri felt her pulse quicken as Kitt's gaze rose to meet her own. Her body felt flushed and her head was spinning but she didn't want the feeling to end. It was terrifying and wonderful all at once. Was it love? Ruri didn't know but it was important and she didn't want to forget or loose this feeling. Just as she didn't want to forget or loose Kitt. He was more important to her than she realized.

"Then let's not stop." She spoke softly, taking a small step towards him.

His admission didn't surprise Ruri. He had told her that he hadn't been human for very long and, unless he'd been seeking that sort of experience, it'd stand to reason that he was virgin. Ruri felt her cheeks warm as a blush colored her skin. "I-" She licked her lips. "I haven't done this before either." Ruri was nervous to admit that she was a virgin, even after Kitt's confession. She had died in middle school and had to get used to being adult after returning. She couldn't very well tell people that she was a twenty something year old virgin. Not to mention that this was the first time that she'd grown this close to someone. It was the first time that she wanted to do this with someone.

"That's okay. Isn't it? Can't... can't it just be you." Ruri didn't want anyone else. "I don't want anyone but you. It'll all be new, for both of us." New and awkward, like the main characters of a story; their story.

It was Ruri's turn to look away, her heart was hammering in her chest while her mind frantically raced. Would he think it was weird that she hadn't had sex? She hadn't kissed anyone before Kitt nor had she raced pass any of the other bases. Wasn't it okay if she just kissed and did those things with him?

Kitt wasn't even sure if he could die. What a pair they made - a dead woman, and an artificial construct who could possibly be immortal. And yet, Forever was still a long time. Right now, he couldn't imagine spending any of it without her with him.

Hot and cold and both simultaneously. He felt dizzy, yet a clarity had settled over his mind. Flushed, but shivering. Aching, but wary. How did humans ever manage to reproduce? He was having difficulty enough just trying to still his mind and sort through these feelings. Or maybe humans simply threw caution to the wind and acted without thinking? It would explain many things, especially about his driver's behavior. No wonder he was always on the outs with Bonnie. And all of this was distracting him from what he wanted to think about, but if he thought about her then all of his resolve would flee again. Humans! Ugh!

She closed the distance, one step, enough to bring his attention back into focus. Not necessarily a good thing, as it made his heart start doing slow, sickly flips within his chest. Let's not stop, she was saying, and his ears were burning with the implications. It was what he'd wanted, what he'd imagined in his own bed several floors away from her. And now? He was standing his ground, at least. That was a start. Had he been seeking sexual activity? No, not actively. But his view of sex was somewhat skewed, having watched the behavior of one Michael Knight towards women for over four years. Sex was easy, sex was casual, sex happened with people you barely knew and were easily left behind and forgotten. He'd always assumed that his first experience with sex would be along those lines as well, a casual attraction that led to a hookup. It wasn't supposed to be serious, all-consuming, terrifying. What if he messed up? What if Ruri didn't like what he was doing? What if she left, unsatisfied and angry? What if he embarrassed himself? It wouldn't matter if he never saw her again, but with Ruri? It was everything. He needed to be good for her, to take care of her. How could he do that if he had no experience?

And then... what? She hadn't done this either? What?

"No, no, wait, Ruri, no. This isn't - you've never done this before? How is that possible? Isn't this something that humans are supposed to be hardwired for? You start to explore as teens and..." He trailed off, unsure of how to explain his understanding of teenage hormones to her. "Ruri, I've studied my driver. I've read the books trying to get a better understanding of him, and human sexuality. You're... Ruri, it will hurt you. The first time for women, it's painful. Unless you're with someone who knows what they're doing, who can take the time and be careful, and even then it will still hurt. Ruri, I can't be the first. I'm clumsy and nervous and unsure about all of this. I'll hurt you more than I should and I can't do that to you. I care for you far too much. I don't ever want to do anything that will hurt you." The good news was, this conversation had become an effective cockblock.

Moving towards her to close more of the gap, he wrapped his hands around her upper arms, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead, and a whisper into her ear. They could be the main characters in their own story, but after. When she wouldn't be hurt by him. "I don't want anyone but you either. There has been no one else who's made me feel this way, who has made me want these things. Every time I leave it's like I've lost a piece of my heart, and every time I see you I'm whole again. And I can't hurt you like that. I won't." She needed to go to a bar, a party, anywhere. Be a normal human. Find an experienced lover. Then come back to him, and teach him what she'd learned about what she liked. He would be waiting.

With his hands still on her arms, and maintaining a very deliberate space between them, he sought her lips once more, relieved to find that they were still so warm, so full, so soft.

Ruri couldn't contemplate casual sex. Sex was something you were supposed to do with someone you had feelings for, someone you trusted. She was sure that it was fun but it wasn't a game to her. She couldn't go out and have sex with anyone. There was only one person that she had even considered it with and that person was Kitt.

She felt her heart twist into knots at his reply. Ruri knew that it would hurt, she's read books on the subject. She's a writer, she's done research on everything that she hadn't experienced herself and that included sex. She realized that she was asking a lot from Kitt but to go out and find someone else. She couldn't believe what he was saying. How could that be okay? She didn't want to do that.

"No." She spoke firmly, realizing a second to late that he had kissed her. Her palms rested on his chest, her fingers splayed out over the hint of muscles that she felt through his shirt. "I don't want to have sex with anyone else. Kitt, do you really think that sex is like that? That people are easily interchangeable? It doesn't work like that. Not for me." She didn't want to close him off but she wanted him to understand.

"I want you and no one else. If that means that it'll hurt than that's fine. We'll practice together. We'll learn what the other person likes and try new things. Even if I had sex with someone else, you don't know that it'll help. Not everyone is the same." This was a big deal to Ruri and she didn't want Kitt to treat it so lightly.

"It's you or no one." Her voice didn't give room for argument, Ruri wasn't going to be forced to sleep with someone so she could then sleep with Kitt. "I'm sorry." Her fingers curled around him as if to cling to him. She didn't want Kitt to pull away or for him to stop kissing her but she had to speak her mind.

"I don't want anyone else."

No, that was different. What she was describing was lovemaking. In Kitt's mind, they were two very different things. Sending her out to have sex with someone would be just that - sex. No feelings, except for attraction and lust. He'd seen it plenty of times, he knew how it worked. Michael had only become monogamous once Stevie had come back into his life - and when she'd gone again, he was right back to his philandering ways. It was how humans behaved. It was how his human behaved - and he'd been programmed specifically for that one human. Everything he knew about humanity had been learned at his feet. Admittedly, Darnell had been very different; he hadn't once seen Darnell chase any skirts, or any trousers, for that matter. But KITT was not programmed for Darnell. He'd accepted him, become friends with him. But... His head was spinning again. Too much conflicting information. What was the answer here? What was he supposed to do? What would Michael do? He suddenly wished that Michael was here; he could have stepped easily into Kitt's shoes and taken over. But here he was alone, and he had to make these decisions for himself.

No, wait. These were Ruri's decisions too, weren't they?

It occurred to him that all the while he was thinking these things he was still occupied with kissing her. Where had he left off with paying attention to her? And in kissing her, just like that, his little - no, not little - friend was back. This was awful, this whole thing. She wouldn't do what he wanted her to do - what was she saying? He had pulled back to listen to her without even realizing it.

"It's not that they're interchangeable, no. I don't feel this way for anyone else, if that's what you're asking. But I've seen enough to know that it's... Michael had a different woman on his arm every week. He slept with most of them, I know, I was there. It never bothered him, and it never seemed to bother any of the women. They knew what they were getting into. It was just sex. It didn't have any meaning behind it. That's not what I want with you, Ruri. I want more than that. But I don't want to hurt you, because of what I do want with you. I don't want to push you away - I just don't want you to be hurt." He wasn't entirely sure why she didn't understand this. "I was programmed to help people, not to harm them. You mean too much to me."

But she was still being stubbornly insistent. And some of what she was saying made sense. "No, not everyone is the same, but." His voice dropped again, wavered on his next words. "If I look at you, and I see you're in pain, it's not something I'll ever forget." It would be etched permanently into his memory. "How can that be fine?" It wasn't that he was treating it lightly; on the contrary, he'd spent quite some time analyzing this subject from many different perspectives.

He swallowed hard at her pronouncement, unsure of what to say, or how to convince her that she was making a mistake. Perhaps if he went out and sought some experience...? But his heart twisted in his chest at the thought of being with anyone else. Was that - was that how Ruri felt of what he was asking her? Could she really be all right with him hurting her?

His voice, when he found it again, was soft, uncertain.

"I have never had the opportunity to choose someone for myself. I was programmed for Michael, and learned how to be who I am from him. When he was injured, I was assigned to Darnell. There was never any input as to what I wanted, what I would choose. But now - I choose you, Ruri. If you will have me. I don't want anyone else." He paused, bringing his arms down so that his fingers could now curl around hers, holding them to his chest. He caught her gaze again, held it there. "I will do my very best not to hurt you." Still holding her hands to him, he leaned in to kiss her again, needing the reassurance of her lips on his.

Ruri wanted to argue with him but then he was kissing her. It was soft, warm and inviting. She didn't want it to end but... they had to talk about this. Ruri needed him to understand. He wasn't completely wrong but he wasn't right either. The world wasn't black and white and she didn't want him to see it like that.

"Kitt." She breathed his name softly as she broke their kiss. Her arms remained around his center as she held herself close to him. Ruri wasn't going to pull away but she needed him to listen to her.

"You cannot decide what I feel, who I want to be close to or how I define things in my life. I cannot just have sex with people. I'm not that kind of person. That person has more than a few names and none of them are very nice. In most societies that isn't okay, just sleeping around with as many women as you could? That's awful and it's awful for a woman to do that too." Her words were hard but passionate and filled with every ounce of feeling that throbbed in Ruri's chest.

"I want you. No one else. I will not sleep with anyone else and it'd break my heart to know if you had also. There are ways that we can learn that doesn't involve other people." She paused and inhaled a slow breath. "There are more ways to hurt someone than physical pain Kitt and suggesting, acting like I have to sleep with someone else first, hurts. It hurts more than having sex would." She didn't even have to have sex to know that to be the case.

"Kitt, I won't ask you what you feel but... think about me with someone else. How does that make you feel?"

Edited 2018-01-16 04:56 (UTC)

He knew what he was doing - he was trying to distract her from continuing this conversation. Not that he knew what to do with that distraction, because it was all tied in to what they were discussing. He shook his head to clear it when she broke the kiss, but he was glad that she still held him close. It was important, that closeness. He had been needing it, and that was a recent realization for him. What else did he need?

He found himself nodding along as she spoke, looking down at the floor, unable to meet her eyes, soft 'I know's' whispered under his breath at each of her points. Of course she was right, what she did with her life was entirely up to her. He had only meant to guide her into doing what he thought might be best. Obviously she didn't see things his way. It wasn't wrong, or bad, but it dismayed him. For all of his life, his only power was that of persuasion, trying to help the humans around him to make decisions that he hoped were for the best. He could cajole or sometimes even coerce, but he could never, ever demand. That wasn't the nature of his programming. He was designed to serve humans, to protect them, sometimes from themselves, but he could never override a human's order once their decision had been made. Such was the case with Ruri now. He felt that she was making a mistake, but if her mind was made up? He didn't have the right to say otherwise. Humans! This was all beginning to give him a headache.

Her words were seeping in, wrapping around his mind, becoming a part of him. She wanted him. No one else. She didn't want him to be with anyone else. Only him. And then thinking about her with someone else?

He brought his hand up to his temple, squeezing his eyes shut against the sudden bright, sharp pain that had bloomed there. Her words were penetrating, burrowing in, settling there, causing him to stagger back with his hands now clutching his head. She chose him. And he'd chosen her. And even the human part of him understood those implications, tried to fight against the reprogramming, if only out of fear of the unknown, of taking a great leap without any sort of knowledge of where he'd fall. The driver imperative, subdued for so long, suddenly roared into life, reminding him - demanding that he remember who he was programmed for, and for what purpose. And for the very first time in his life, he was fighting back, pushing back against it, forcing his own will upon it. His choices. His decisions. He was on his knees on the floor now, exhausted from the battle that had taken place entirely in his mind.

And he was free. He blinked a few times, shaking his head, shaking away the remnants of that particular bit of programming that had muzzled him for so long. His decision, the person he wanted to be with now, the person he had chosen, and now no longer bound to Michael by programming but instead by the fondness of love for a man who had become his best friend, but not the person he wished to spend his life with. The person he loved.

He looked up cautiously at Ruri from his position on the floor, feeling terrible tears pricking at the corners of his eyes when he really thought about that last question she'd posed to him.

"I... Heartbroken." He was unconsciously curling his fist into his chest, emphasizing the point. The thought of this woman sharing the most intimate parts of herself, physically, emotionally, with anyone else, brought him to a black and utter despair.

"Kitt." Her anger vanished and worry filled it's place.

She took a step towards Kitt as he fell to the ground. "Kitt?" She lower herself so she could see what had caused the sudden change or if he was somehow hurt. Had she done this too him? How? What was going on? "Kitt!" Her hands rested on his shoulders as his mind fought with his programming. Ruri had no idea what was going on. She felt panic flare through her limbs as she mind raced.

She felt tears prickle at the corner of her eyes as she watched him, worry and fear knotting in her stomach. 'Please be okay.'

Then he was looking up at her, tears in his eyes. "Me too." Her tears began to fall, following in steady waves down the curve of her cheek. "I don't want to break your heart or mine." Ruri leaned towards him, pressing her forehead to his as she spoke. "I just want you Kitt. Forever."

She wanted to tell him that she loved him but the words stuck in her throat.

The headache was still there, pounding behind his eyes, but so easily forgotten with her there on the floor in front of him, their foreheads touching and her sweet, sweet words echoing in his mind. Just want you. Forever.

It was then that he noticed that Alexa was still playing ridiculous Christmas music in the background. He called over his shoulder, "Alexa, shut off the music. No, wait. Alexa. Mascagni. Intermezzo, Cavalleria Rusticana. Softly, please." He turned back, reaching up to cup her cheek with his palm, but instead he pulled away, concern on his face, worry knitting his brow. "You're crying, Ruri." He used his thumb to gently brush away some of the tears, then held her face in his hand, leaning in so that his lips were meeting hers again, knowing now that he was ready to take things further. "I won't break your heart." He spoke the words into her mouth, a whisper, full of intent. "Forever." It sounded just about right. His own tears were falling, but he hadn't noticed them either, too lost in his thoughts of her. Love was a given, though unspoken. There was something else he needed to know.

Reluctantly scooting away from her, he stood up carefully. When he was sure he wouldn't be overcome by any stray waves of dizziness or pain, he held his hand out to her to help her up as well.

"I need to know something, Ruri." He held her gaze for a beat before he continued. "Do you trust me?"

Ruri hadn't noticed the music until Kitt spoke to Alexa to change it. Suddenly the room came back into focus: the partly done decorations, the soft lights of the Christmas lights around the room and the glimmering sheen of the garland.

"I'm-" A hand rose to her eye as his thumb brushed away the tear. "I was so scared. I thought something happened to you." She had been worried and frustrated and it had come out in those few loose tears. "You're crying too." Ruri reached forward and brushed the moisture from his cheek. She didn't want him to cry. "Are you okay?" The question was out as he rose to his feet.

Ruri followed, feeling her knees protest as she stood.

"Of course I trust you Kitt."

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